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  • Writer's picturePru

My Father the Narcissist

This weeks show was about an adult daughter who wants to know how to get her dad to see his behavior. Russ and crew asked how can she get him to change. The reality is, we can’t change anything outside of ourselves only our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. I offered that every situation and experience is a lesson God would have us learn. So, I would invite her to get clear about what the lesson is for her. What is her father’s behavior mirroring back to her? I shared that everybody in our life is an actor playing a role (consciously or unconsciously)that supports our growth. How is her dad supporting her development? Shifting the focus away from her father releases the need to control him which means that releases her from feeling upset, anguish, frustration when he denies her feedback. The daughter is free to adjust how she chooses to see and relate to him. Perhaps the dad is teaching her how to create boundaries, or how to speak her truth, or something else. This is the place where her wisdom comes forward, and may reveal to her a deeper pathology, and a greater possibility for evolution. Since she wants him to behave differently, we can look at the word “behave” which can be broken into “be” and “have.” The behavior itself is the doingness. So, who does she get to BE so she can HAVE the life she desires. Is that open, forgiving, kind, compassionate, or nurturing? The answer will show her how to “behave” or what to do to create change in her life-which May positively impact their relationship. This conversation is not about her dad because she has no control over him. Rather a it’s about what he is reflecting back to her about herself.😁🙏🏾

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