This weeks show is about a married man who’s not sure how to tell his wife about the attraction he has for his male friend. The first thought was, what does “attraction” mean to this person. It might be easy to assume this is a sexually fluid or bi-curios or gay experience. But since I’m not able to speak to the anonymous author of this letter, I choose to assume no specific thing. I do know that it is common place for men to recognize that they are attracted to other men and it’s not sexual in nature, but they’ve never been taught or giving themselves permission to expressed that for fear of being labeled gay, alienated, or for fear of questioning their own sexuality/sexual preference.
Russ and crew invited me to entertain that this is a physical/sexual attraction and how might he tell his wife. So, I entertained that and offered he communicate in whatever way honors how that husband and wife communicate: text message, letter, or face-to-face. But before going to his wife, I invited him to get clear about what this attraction means. Even if it’s sexual – does it mean he wants to leave his wife, does it mean he wants to have an open marriage, doesn’t mean he just wants to explore something sexually to see if there’s more there-what does this attraction mean? Getting clear himself before sharing will honor the process as it will make communication easier to understand.
The Law of Clarity offers when you’re clear everyone sees it accurately and responds accordingly. Lack of clarity keep you in confusion. Clear decisions move you from ‘stuckness’ to ‘freedom.’ If you’re in a fog, you can wait for it to clear or make a decision to move in any direction. Speak clearly about your wants and needs.